


all that's left

by Ahaha_Soup



Series: Rokuven Week 2020 [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Mentioned Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Nonbinary Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Sad Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, xion is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26905387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahaha_Soup/pseuds/Ahaha_Soup
Summary: Roxas and Ventus Week Day 5!!!Where had the time gone? It felt like just yesterday Ventus gave this to him, blue eyes full of joy and excitement. Now here he was, sitting atop the clock tower completely alone.Stupid charm, not doing it’s job properly.((Lost Time)) | ((Lucky Charm)) | "It's funny… suddenly I feel like I don't know myself at all…"
Relationships: Roxas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Rokuven Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956097
Kudos: 9





	all that's left

_ “Happy Birthday, Roxas!” _

His voice plays in Roxas’ head like a broken record, repeating, repeating, repeating with no way of turning it off. It’s strange, how something (or someone) so familiar can become so foreign so quickly. How can a memory feel so fresh? How does time work in memories? Does time even truly exist?

Roxas holds the small star trinket up to the sky, watching the way the sunlight reflects off it’s colorful points. Where had the time gone? It felt like just yesterday Ventus gave this to him, blue eyes full of joy and excitement. Now here he was, sitting atop the clock tower completely alone. Was life always this bland? So devoid of color? He can’t remember. He brings the charm to his lips in a gentle kiss; he pretends his hands are shaking because of the cold.

_ “Go on, open it! I wanna see your reaction!” _

_ “It’s… a Wayfinder?” _

_ “Yeah! It’s your lucky charm. It’ll give you good luck and protection whenever you need it. It’s also a reminder that, no matter what, we’ll always be together.” _

Stupid charm, not doing it’s job properly.

Twilight Town is always so peaceful during Fall. Trees colored in oranges, reds and yellows, and buildings decorated with cute window stickers of ghosts and pumpkins to set the mood for spooky season. Coffee shops and bakeries alike start to switch out their regular goodies with fall-themed ones, like pumpkin-spice and carrot cake. Despite the chilly weather, people are out and about, still as eager as ever to be outside. They drink hot cocoa and chat around the outside tables of the bistro, or sit upon buildings to watch the neverending sunset with pleasant smiles.

Once upon a time, Roxas would’ve been doing the same thing. Sitting atop the clocktower, all smiles and laughter with sea-salt ice cream in one hand, his other intertwined with the love of his life’s. Or they’d be dancing together to the beat of their silent song in the Tram Common, grinning ear to ear as folks nearby begin to clap and cheer at their silly little jig.

But that was back then. There’s no beat to dance with anymore; only a half-finished melody that will never dance with its counterpart again. Roxas tries to remember what their song sounded like. He’s close to cracking it. The subtle energy of eighth notes swelling into the sugar-sweet crescendo of his laughter; the high sixteenth-note-smiles that rival the sun itself, the low whole-note melancholic tears that made Roxas' chest ache in a way it never did before--

"Roxas!"

And then it's gone. The beautiful symphony dwindles away into the uneven, untuned melody that mourns its lost half. All that's left is the memory of how it felt.

Roxas holds the star charm tightly in his palm, cursing out any and all gods that are listening.

When he turns in the direction the voice came from, he's met with a waving Xion. Dressed in paint covered overalls, it's evident they just came from Naminé's. He gives them the smallest of smiles.

"Hey, Xion."

"Where have you been? You missed lunch with me and Nami."

"Oh. I've…" he starts, looking out into the orange and yellow sunset sky. Where  _ has _ he been? Physically, on the clocktower; has been since early-morning.  _ Mentally _ ?

Mentally, he's reliving every day he ever spent with Ventus. He’s teaching him how to skateboard, laughing when he falls and kissing him better when he inevitably lands on his ass too hard. He’s holding him close, swaying side to side in the middle of Roxas' living room, so lost in their own music that they fail to hear Lea and Xion open the front door and giggle at how sappy they are.

Mentally, he's reliving the day Aqua broke the news to him. Reliving the pain in his chest that continues to cave into itself like a black hole.  _ "We don't know what happened,"  _ she had cried,  _ "It was all fine, we were all fine but then a demon tower came and suddenly he was gone. This was all that was left.” _

A green Wayfinder. Still dusty and stained with dark sand from the Realm of Darkness.

He’s counting the days since then. One-hundred and eighty-three days since he’s been gone. One-hundred and eighty-three empty days that have been lost to time.

"Roxas?"

He blinks. He’s back in the present. "Sorry."

"Your hand is bleeding."

Roxas looks down at his hand, the one that's been clutching the Wayfinder so tightly that its broken skin. He frowns.

Xion gingerly takes the injured hand in theirs, unfurling his fist to take the Wayfinder out of his grasp. It's dirtied now, something that shouldn't be a big deal, but it makes Roxas want to throttle himself. Xion casts a small cure spell, then pulls a handkerchief from their pocket to wipe off the mess it left. They're quiet as they do so.

"Sorry." Roxas says again.

"Stop saying sorry."

"Okay."

Xion removes the handkerchief, but they keep their hand on his. The small action is comforting. With his free hand, he takes the Wayfinder and wipes the grime off on his pants, then holds it up to the sun. The cerulean-blue color reminds him of the ocean. It reminds him of Ventus’ eyes. The green Wayfinder hanging around his neck feels heavy.

"Y’know we'll get him back, right?"

He doesn't say anything.

"Roxas."

"How are you so sure?”

“Because we’re us. We’ve won every struggle life has thrown at us, haven’t we?”

“It seems like we always lose something in return. I don’t think that’s what you’d call ‘winning’. And besides, we don’t even know if he’s…”

_ ‘Still alive _ ,’ he wants to say, but the word dies in his mouth. He’s worried if he voices his fears aloud, it’ll come true; that one day Ventus’ smile will cease to exist in this mortal plane. Roxas hides this fear deep in the back of his mind and prays it never sees the light of day.

“What does your heart tell you?”

What does his heart tell him? It’s telling him a lot of things right now. He tries to focus, heart and mind trained on the thought of Ventus. His heart tunes to the thought of his eyes, of his pretty laughter and sunshine smiles, his gentle hugs and sugar sweet kisses. Somewhere along the line his heart begins to sing, though quiet, his part of their symphony.  _ What does his heart tell him _ ?

Nothing.

Nothing?

He focuses harder, feeling frustrated. It’s so faint he almost mistakes it for nothing, but, he swears he can hear the other half of his melody playing in the silence between his notes. It’s slow and soft, the notes out of tune in a way he’s never ever heard before. The melody sounds like it’s crying, mourning. Roxas clutches Ven’s Wayfinder tightly, furrowing his brows.

He’s focused so hard he can’t even hear his own melody anymore, just the out-of-tune decrescendo end that turns Roxas’ blood cold with fear. There’s an eerie silence.

_ Nothing _ .

Roxas can’t remember crying, but he does remember Xion wiping away his fallen tears and pulling him into a half-hug. The rest is blurry. At some point, maybe minutes or hours later, Xion disappears and he is left by himself.

_ Nothing. Nothing. _ The word repeats over and over.  _ What does it mean _ ?

Roxas stares down at his Wayfinder--the lucky charm, the thing that was meant to keep them together. The thing that didn’t work.

He lets it slip from his fingers, watching as it falls from the clocktower down to the ground below.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me @cryptidsunshine on Twitter! <3


End file.
